We’ve all been there. The moment when our anticipation for the long-awaited vacation quickly turns to unwanted anxiety and stress. Will it be a good vacation? Will the family enjoy it? Will the photos look good? How much will it cost? How will I make sure I can break away from work? So much uncertainty can start to emerge. This can be especially true for military families taking their precious leave or perhaps connecting a vacation to their Permanent Change of Station, moving to their next installation and home.

It’s natural to have frequently changing thoughts, so here are two ways to intentionally shift your mentality to make the most of your summer vacation.

1. Identify the opportunity each moment presents ahead of time.

When on vacation, it is human nature to pay attention to annoyances, even the mundane ones. We worry about work, get annoyed at the heat, high prices, crowds, or loud commotion around. Frustrations can run higher when you add in the challenges of a kid, significant other, or friend who found all the right buttons to press. When we focus on these annoyances, our focus becomes trapped on them. We feel drained and need a vacation from our vacation!

Try looking through a lens of opportunity, shifting your focus to notice and savor the little pleasures that a vacation offers. Enjoy the laughter of children playing, the warmth of the sun on your skin, and the vibrant colors of blooming flowers. In amusement parks, choose to notice the joy of those around you, the incredible engineering and designs around each ride, and growing excitement as you wait for your turn for fun. In every instance, there is an opportunity to connect with others, perhaps learn something new about someone, or see them in a different light. The learning can even be about yourself: “I can’t believe I actually went skydiving!” Anticipating and being on the lookout for these opportunities sets the stage for us to be fully immersed in the joy the present has to offer. Ask not what you need to do for your vacation but what your vacation can do for you!

2. Slow down to become present in the moment.

When you find yourself caught up in the chaos that is often part of a vacation, take a moment to pause and breathe. Focus on your senses and the beauty around you. This practice can bring a sense of calm and clarity, allowing you to experience and enjoy the moment fully.

Slowing down helps us remember that this moment is something we’ve been waiting for. This moment may not be the exact image we had in our mind as plans can go awry, but it often isn’t the specific event that makes something special; it’s the presence that squeezes out every bit of meaning that sticks with us.

May you welcome the opportunities a summer vacation brings by being open to new experiences and adventures. Whether trying a new outdoor activity, exploring a new place, or simply relaxing and unwinding, allow yourself to engage fully and appreciate these moments.

During a ride, remain seated and always keep your arms and legs inside. During a vacation, stay present and keep your mind focused on opportunities at all times. Wishing you a safe and enjoyable vacation!

Our brains are constantly thinking of things we need to accomplish. There are milestones and deadlines at work. At home, there are responsibilities, friends, and families that deserve our attention. Adding to the normal demands and stressors of life, the holiday season is right around the corner.

The holidays bring connection and joy but also a need for decorations, travel arrangements, and planning. Families strive to truly capitalize on their precious opportunity for leave. Military families with a loved one on deployment are considering how this year may feel a little off and are thinking about what they can do to still make it special.

Managing Demands During the Holidays

Thinking of the many demands upon us, it’s easy to see how the feeling of holiday cheer can be overtaken by unpleasant emotions such as anxiety. We can feel drained as we are trying to navigate a conversation or two while simultaneously taking care of some task. It’s in the depleted, attention-divided state that feeling overwhelmed can occur. While common, this doesn’t need to be the case. Instead of letting the holidays pass you by with a sense of overwhelm, give yourself the present of presence by setting boundaries. Here’s how.

• Identify priorities—When you identify what is most important to you, you can be more intentional about focusing your time, energy, and effort. Prioritize your activities and narrow your focus by considering what you value the most. Whether it’s cooking a special dish, arranging the décor just right, or meaningful conversations with someone, you can focus your time and attention where you most desire.
• Create boundaries—This may seem limiting at first, but boundaries actually create the opportunity to dedicate yourself fully to what you care about most. Setting boundaries means giving yourself permission to say no to events, certain traditions, or just the pressure to do it all. At times, this can be challenging because we may feel like we’re missing out: however, although we are not doing everything, we are able to get more out of the things we do.
• Be in the moment—Once you create boundaries, it will enable you to fully bring yourself to the moment. Your thoughts, energy, and attention are present in the moment; you have a sense of complete engagement in what you’re doing, and a greater sense of awareness in each precise activity. When having a conversation, you are truly listening, empathizing, and being aware of each other’s presence. Whether you agree or disagree on a particular topic, you seek to understand and appreciate that person.

The Value of Being Present

When we are mindful, life’s special moments come alive. Noticing the smirk someone gives. Savoring the flavor of each bite. Basking in the bustling of sounds around. Indulging in the pleasures and joys with abandon. This is where we connect, where we create the bonds and memories that last far longer than anyone’s awareness of how clean the house was that day, if we were five minutes late, or if we forgot that critical dish.

Understanding what we value most and leveraging boundaries to reserve our resources gives us the power to be present in the moments that matter. This is the most precious present we can give others…and ourselves.

Happy Present Holidays!