Our world is always fluid, now more than ever, which can bring uncertainty into our daily adult lives. For kids still building core skills to manage life, or what I like to call their “tool bag,” change can be all-consuming.

Being the “new kid” at school is something most of us parents have been through at least once, but I will be the first to admit it has been a very long time (and I’m not willing to share just how long). During the pandemic, I homeschooled my son and when it was time to reenroll in a traditional school, he voiced some concerns about being the new kid at school. I tried to brush the moment over and told him he would be fine, but after he continued to verbalize his internal anxieties, I took a step back and put myself in his shoes. First, I visualized myself starting my new job and remembered what it felt like not to know anyone. I sat with those thoughts for a bit and then I reached way back in my memories from when I was the new kid at school and remember how that felt. It took both activities for me to really see how my son was being impacted by this change. Yes, worrying about changing schools and being the new kid is completely normal, but it doesn’t mean the matter should not be addressed. As a parent, it is important that we listen to our kids, even when we think we don’t have time or that the situation is not really that big of a deal.

Common Concerns of the New Kid at School

• Will the other kids like me?
• Will anyone sit with me at lunch?
• Will I understand what they’re doing in class, or will I be behind in the lessons?
• Will I like my teachers? Will they like me?

What can we do as parents to help ease our kids into their new schools? As a provider who works predominantly with military families that have children who transition schools on average nine times before graduating, I have some ideas:

First and foremost, always remember to share the positives with your child, because I promise they are usually focusing on the scary stuff- the negatives.

Positives of Changing Schools

• You get to make a fresh start.
• You get to make new friends.
• You can get involved in new activities.

Then, communicate with your child the tools they need to be successful during this transition. Give them something to have in their imaginary pocket (imaginary toolbox) and give them what they need to make their way. If it helps, work with them to make a tangible list that they can come back to. I have included a list below to help you out. In my experience, many times kids are just nervous about talking to new people, both their own age and authority figures, such as teachers and other adult helpers. Role-playing some scenarios that they may encounter as the new kid will help build their confidence. Change brings growth, and without growth, we would never have the opportunity to fill our “tool bag” with strengths to manage what’s to come.

Tips for Parents That Can Help with Being the New Kid at School

• Talk about it, remind them that talking about their fears can make them less scary. Let them know that you are available to listen, but also encourage them to share concerns with other safe family members.
• Call the new school ahead of time and set up a tour for both the student and the parents. If your child will ride the bus, take a pre-bus pick-up drive to get a better idea of the bus stop. You could even drive the bus route.
• Visit the school’s website and find out as much as you can about it. You could even make it into a family scavenger hunt. Here are a few ideas of what you could hunt for:
• What are the school’s colors?
• What are the school rules?
• How big is the school?
• What kind of sports activities are available?
• Is there a school newspaper or yearbook?
• What kind of clubs are available?
• Work with the child to pick out their own elective classes, or simply do some research ahead of time so they know who their teachers will be.
• Let the child help pick out their new school supplies, which with help with giving them some control over the new situation and increase positive excitement.
• Encourage your child to take some time to journal their current feelings, as well as reflect on past successes.

Here are suggestions for kids on how to make new friends:

• Smile and be friendly to everyone you meet; this behavior will go a long way.
• Join clubs, get active at school and in your community.
• Participate in sports, both team sports and individual sports
• Take group classes in school, or in the community.
• Spend time at a local park or playground, maybe bring a ball or jump rope with you.
• Be a good listener, everyone appreciates someone who listens.
• Stay positive when talking with others,
• Ask people about themselves, and really try to focus on what they share.
• Accept people as they are, we all have a story.
• Be helpful to others, look for ways to help.
• Give compliments and find ways to make others feel good.

Tips for Kids on How to Talk to New People

• Remember to smile.
• Take a deep breath and jump right in.
• Try to speak slowly.
• Make your voice clear and strong.
• Take your time, there is no need to rush.
• Do your best not to worry about being nervous.

Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, observed annually in September, serves as a crucial reminder of the importance of promoting mental health, offering support, and fostering hope to prevent the tragic loss of lives to suicide. Death by suicide among service members, veterans, and their families is becoming a national crisis. This population is at higher risk for common risk factors, including experiencing a mental health condition and having a physical health problem.

On Thursday, September 7^th, Magellan Federal hosted a webinar, “Suicide Prevention Strategies and Resources for Military Families” focused on the prevalence of suicide in the military and the resources and strategies that can be used to reduce military suicides.

In this Q&A, webinar panelist Jason Kuttner, Magellan Federal’s supervisor for the Adolescent Support and Counseling Service, shares insight into his work with suicide prevention.

Q: What is your role with ASACS and how were you able to develop the Suicide Risk Assessment protocols?

Jason Kuttner: I have been the ASACS Program clinical supervisor for Hawaii since 2018. I’ve been with the program since 2012, first as a counselor in Japan and Germany, then as a clinical supervisor for Asia from 2015-2018. Prior to working with ASACS, I worked in crisis mental health services in Oregon where I had a variety of roles including conducting involuntary commitment investigations, providing emergent crisis counseling services, and helping train law enforcement professionals as part of the CIT (crisis intervention training) program. In these roles, I have worked with countless individuals in mental health crises. I’ve had extensive training in best practices for working with suicidal individuals and I’ve been able to learn from first-hand experience what works to de-escalate crises including implementing wrap-around support to keep people safe in the short and long term.

Q: When discussing suicide prevention how are the needs of a service member or a veteran differ from a civilian?

Kuttner: Suicide rates among veterans are significantly higher than in the civilian population. Veterans are 1.5 times more likely to die by suicide than non-veterans.[1] Reasons for this include high exposure to trauma, stress and burnout, isolation and loneliness, easy access to and familiarity with firearms, and difficulties integrating into civilian life. Active-duty service member suicide rates have been climbing in recent years and are now on par with the general population. One of the most significant challenges with service members is reducing the culture of stigma to access mental health services. There is a perception that accessing mental healthcare may jeopardize a service member’s career opportunities. All the branches of service are working to try to reduce this stigma and to make it easier for service members to seek help when they need it.

Q: In your webinar presentation you mention the need for more community-based prevention. What does community-based prevention look like and why is it needed?

Kuttner: Community-based prevention means simply helping and encouraging people to find ways to connect with others. The most effective of these are not framed as ‘suicide prevention’ per se but are ways for people to find others with common interests to engage with. This can include hiking, recreational sports leagues, motorcycling groups, service work and volunteering, music and arts, spiritual and religious organizations, and basically any kind of hobbies and interests that people can do with others. In person, social connection is an important antidote to mental distress which is often exacerbated by isolation. Increasingly people are connecting online through social media, multiplayer gaming, and other ways. While this seems like a good idea and can be a way to connect with like-minded people, research has been showing a correlation between increasing use of social media with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and loneliness.

Q: Where can a service member, a veteran, or their family go if they feel depressed or are having thoughts of committing suicide?

Kuttner: There is good help there! The 988 mental health crisis and suicide lifeline was rolled out a little over one year ago. The lifeline connects people to local mental health support services including veteran-specific services. You can call or text and help is prompt, confidential, and professional. It is so important to know that there is no shame in having depressed and even suicidal thoughts; these are very common, and most people will have times in their lives when they experience dark thoughts including morbid ruminations. We need to reinforce the message that none of us are alone. Talking to somebody about these thoughts actually helps. The more people who are trained as peer supports to be able to know how to listen and talk to a person who is depressed and possibly suicidal the better. Many communities have access to free suicide prevention training such as ASIST and SafeTalk which are intended to train regular, non-mental health professionals to know how to be there for family members, friends, colleagues, and others who may be experiencing mental distress.

For service members who are worried about the stigma of accessing mental health support, chaplains are professionally trained to provide help and can help service members navigate their thoughts and feelings and help them determine what the next steps are to keep them safe. Also, the MFLC program- military family life counselors- are licensed mental health counselors contracted to provide non-medical counseling to service members and their families. MFLCs provide experienced guidance to help people resolve issues and access additional support if necessary.

Q: What are some barriers that might prevent a service member or a veteran from seeking help?

Kuttner: The most significant barrier is stigma- being worried that asking for help is a sign of weakness or might jeopardize their career or status in some way. It is so important to recognize that life is so much more than this present moment. Most suicidal crises are centered on the view that the circumstances that have led to this moment are not resolvable without an immediate and permanent way out. Sadly, the consequences of suicide have a ripple effect that can profoundly affect hundreds or more people in a person’s life. The crisis that a person is experiencing in the present moment can be overcome and the first step in doing so is letting it out, talking to somebody, and letting another person in to help bring some light into the darkness.

Who should watch this webinar and what would they gain?

Kuttner: Anyone who is interested in learning more should attend. Suicide has impacted or will impact most people at some point in their lives. All of us have times of difficulty and have people in our lives who suffer mental distress. The more we can do to get the word out that help is available and there are things that all of us can do to help ourselves and others in our lives, the better.

If you missed this important webinar, click here to watch the replay: https://www.magellanfederal.com/whats-new/mfed-inform/suicide-prevention-strategies-and-resources-for-military-families/

[1] National Veteran Suicide Prevention Annual Report,  September 2022

This article was originally published on MFed and written by Tristen Wendland, MS, LPC.

When you hear the acronym PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) most think of combat war veterans.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a fairly new term.  In WWI and WWII it was referred to as shell shock or combat fatigue.  The term was developed in the 1970s after the Vietnam war when servicemembers returned with similar symptoms.  It wasn’t until 1980 that the American Psychiatric Association officially recognized it as a disorder.

According to the National Institute for Mental Health, it is estimated that around 6-7% of the US population will deal with some PTSD in their lifetime.  According to Department of Veterans Affairs, Woman are at higher risk at 8% compared to Men at 4%.   PTSD can be related to natural disaster, a serious accident, terrorist attacks, mass shootings, combat, sexual assault, or other types of violent assault.

While working for Department of Veterans affairs I had the opportunity to work with many combat veterans over my career.  One comes to mind.  He was a young Army veteran who worked in EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal).  During his time in the US Army, he was deployed 3 times.  During his last deployment he was injured during a mission when a bomb he was defusing exploded leaving him permanently disfigured and without the use his dominate arm.  After 8 years of skin grafts, multiple surgeries, and ongoing therapy he was ready to discuss returning to school and work.  He applied for Vocational Readiness and Employment through Department of Veterans Affairs CH31 program, and I was assigned his case.  We started off slowly with him only taking 1 class at a time.  Working up to part time school in person was a challenge.  The physical scars on his face and mangled arm were hard to miss.  Over the 5 years that I worked with him I saw him succeed and fail and celebrated his achievements and milestones and encouraged him when he stumbled.  Often having to take breaks when he stubbled back.  What I learned from him is that the will and want to work and succeed is 90% of the battle for people with emotional scars.  His goal was never to be who he was previously but to be who he is today.  A better version of himself who can feel satisfaction from employment even at a part time level.  Success was self-determined, and not dictated by a 40-hour work week or paycheck.

So, when it comes to employment what is the impact on your workforce?  According to the American Psychologic Society, the symptoms of PTSD sometimes cause significant distress for many individuals.  It impacts their social and occupational participation to a degree that is significant.  It can impact their ability to engage in selfcare and home care activities, education, and work roles as well as social and leisure activities.

What can you as an employer do to minimize or accommodate an employee suffering with PTSD? According to US Department of Labor Workers Compensation, Employees may benefit from returning to work on a part‑time basis.  Modified work schedules or shared employment can be beneficial. In terms of workplace accommodations, each person will have specific needs, and you really have to look at accommodations based on that individual. Here are some options:

• Providing instructions or job-related responsibilities in writing as well as verbal instructions.
• Offering additional training or refreshers to assist that individual with some of the memory difficulties.
• Allowing workers to maintain more flexible schedules and being able to take time off for any treatment or appointments that they have to attend.
• Permitting extra time to complete non-urgent tasks.
• Letting employees wear noise canceling headphones to reduce distractions while they’re working.
• Increasing the amount of light in the work environment to help maintain alertness and help them improve concentration.
• Removing any emotional triggers that remind the employee of the trauma that are upsetting (when possible).
• Making sure parking areas are well lit or that security personnel is available to accompany them when walking to a car or unsafe locations in the dark.

According to the Recovery Village, with treatment the prognosis is positive that PTSD symptoms can be managed.  While approximately one-third of people do not achieve full symptom elimination with treatment, most individuals experience a significant reduction in the intensity of their symptoms. It is important to understand when an employee is struggling, and performance is low there maybe underlying issues that can be accommodated or addressed by managers.

Sources:

National Institute of Mental Health. “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)“ https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd .” November 2017. Accessed May 9, 2023.

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. “How Common Is PTSD in Adults?”  https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/common/common_adults.asp  February 3, 2023. Accessed May 9, 2023.

U.S. Department of Labor Workers Compensation. “How PTSD is Affecting Return to Work” https://www.genexservices.com/insights/workers-comp/blog/how-ptsd-affecting-return-work  August 2019. Accessed May 9, 2023

The Recovery Village. “PTSD Statistics and Facts” https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/ptsd/ptsd-statistics/#:~:text=70%25%20of%20adults%20experience%20at,some%20point%20in%20their%20life  May 2023. Accessed May 9, 2023.

The Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) provides care and services for military families with special needs – whether that is an adult or child. The program has served over 55,000 Army EFMP family members across a total of 32 locations within and outside of the continental U.S. In this Q&A with Magellan Federal senior program analyst Brandon Greenwood, we learn more about the important work with special needs families.

How does EFMP work?

Greenwood: There are three components to EFMP: Medical, Human Resource Command HRC(Assignments), and Family Support. Magellan System Navigators fall under the Family Support umbrella where we offer non-clinical case management to our clients. We provide support to soldiers and their dependents to make their transition to and from their duty stations as seamless as possible all the while providing support groups, educational workshops, Individualized Education Plans (IEP) assistance, and bringing exciting and inclusive special events to our population.

What are System Navigators?

Greenwood: System Navigators take the guesswork out of locating services in a brand-new environment for our clients, by forming relationships with community partners and service providers and connecting them to our service members and their families.

Clients are encouraged to collaborate with their Systems Navigator (SN) to create a service plan so that their individual goals are taken into account. A goal for our SNs is for them to empower our families to be the best advocate for their Exceptional Family Members as they can. We want to equip them with as many tools and as much knowledge about EFMP as possible so when they relocate, they are better prepared and informed for what may come.

How does this help families with children?

Greenwood: Our Systems Navigators also assist families with a dependent who has a special educational need with their Individualized Education Plans. SNs are trained in Wrightslaw Special Education and are able to educate parents and caregivers about their child’s IEP, point out inconsistencies, correct language that may not be beneficial to the child, and also attend the meeting with the family in a support role.

Wrightslaw is a training course that provides the knowledge build-up for Special Education Law and Advocacy.  It helps the System Navigator to better understand the challenges our EFMP families experience each day in the school system.

Our SNs play a large role in the planning and execution of special events. There are several events across all our military bases, however, most of those events aren’t inclusive for those with special needs. The EFMP family support program, along with the help of our SNs, create themed special events that are sensory-friendly and created with our EFMP families in mind. These events have become so popular that many sites have made them open to the entire base.

How can someone get connected to the EFMP?

Greenwood: To learn more about EFMP and the support available to your family, reach out to your local EFMP Family Support office. EFMP Family Support providers play a critical role in providing information, referral, family needs assessments, and family service plans to help you achieve the goals that are unique to your family.

Source: MilitaryOneSource

Within the fascinating experience that is life, change is a continual occurrence, and an example of ongoing change is that which is experienced through loss. Humans experience loss in many ways, commonly through the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship. A key component of loss is grief.

Grief is a personal process connecting the emotional, social, and physiological realms and is closely tied to overcoming the crisis that comes with loss. For some, grief may be a time involving self-acceptance and self-discovery, while for others, it may be a time of isolation and denial of reality. No matter how it is experienced, it is a journey of mental, emotional, and relational readjustment that may substantially alter a person’s daily life.

Professional counseling can help those experiencing loss and grief identify internal and external resources available to them promotes empowerment, a sense of community, and encourages grieving in healthful ways. Below are tips to support those struggling with loss while also incorporating self-care practices.

Grief Guidance

• Acknowledge grief is a personal experience and listen to the person without an agenda.
• Honor the grief someone is experiencing while being prepared to give the person space.
• Learn what spiritual practice or creative outlet allows the person to connect with their sense of meaning and purpose, then make recommendations accordingly. Not everyone will feel comfortable drawing or journaling.
• Observe how the person is moving through the grieving process and refer as needed. Some may seek a spiritual approach, while others may benefit from a grief counselor if they require more specialized care.
• Maintain self-awareness. Ask yourself, “How does dealing with someone grieving make me feel?” “Does it trigger any personal memories?” “To what extent can personal issues be distracting?”
• Be respectful of the person’s grieving and don’t turn encounters into interrogation sessions. Through self-awareness one may realize addressing someone’s grief can be anxiety provoking.
• It is okay to respond with, “I don’t know”.
• Grief counseling can trigger emotional reactions that may be new and uncomfortable. If this occurs, don’t hesitate to seek support from a trusted person.

Grief Resources for Military Families

One very important component when addressing the process of loss with someone is that, similar to a crisis, the grieving individual may not have the frame of mind, the peace, or the support to address even the most essential basic needs. It may feel as if with the loss comes a loss of connection and where to look for help. Having an advocate who is attuned with the resources available within the military community can be a game changer. The Military & Family Life Counseling (MFLC) program is available to all service members and families for on-installation support with a number of life’s challenges through free, short-term, confidential non-medical counseling. MFLC counselors can help bridge the gap between the grieving person or family and the different agencies that can provide resources to aid during times of despair. Start by contacting your installation’s Military and Family Support Center for more information on the MFLC program. Reaching out for help and resources is an essential element in the process of healing and recovery from loss.

Transitioning from military to civilian life can be challenging, but with the right mindset and preparation, it can also be a fulfilling experience. With May being Military Appreciation Month, we spoke to three veterans, Amber Rodgers (Maj.), Angela Burd (MSG), and Jerome Simmons (SGM), about their experiences transitioning to civilian life and how their military background has helped them in their current roles at Magellan Federal.

They each offer valuable insights on overcoming challenges and making the most of the transition, including setting attainable goals, building new habits, and staying connected with the military community. Whether you’re a veteran, caregiver, or spouse, their advice can help you navigate this exciting but daunting time in your life.

Q: Are you a veteran, caregiver, or spouse?

Amber Rodgers: Veteran and spouse
Angela Burd: Veteran
Jerome Simmons: Veteran

Q: What’s your branch of service?

Amber Rodgers: Air Force
Angela Burd: U.S. Army
Jerome Simmons: U.S. Army

Q: How many years of service do you have?

Amber Rodgers: 10
Angela Burd: 27
Jerome Simmons: 30

Q: What was your experience transitioning from military to civilian life leading up to your role at Magellan Federal?

Amber Rodgers: It was a quick 3-week transition from active duty to civilian life and my Magellan role!

Angela Burd: I retired in 2021, and the transition was smooth. I had a lot of time to prepare. The military sets you up for success through the transition assistance program. I researched employment in the civilian sector because I believed I wanted a drastic change from the military in my second career. But after a few months as a civilian, I realized I greatly missed the military community. I knew I still had a desire to “serve” in some capacity. Then I came across the job posting for MFLC recruiting, and it felt like an amazing opportunity to put my military experience to great use!

Jerome Simmons: My transition has been tough to the point that I’m still up at 04:00 a.m. every day. I took a break for the first 90 days, which did not last because I ran out of things to do. I started working a contract job at Fort Bliss, TX, to stay active and still give back to the Soldiers. The job that I currently have is a true blessing allowing me to give back once again.

Q: What challenges did you face during your transition, and how did you overcome them?

Amber Rodgers: I initially struggled with not feeling busy enough, I was overwhelmed during active duty and trying to be present for my family, and then it all stopped when I got out. I couldn’t remember when I’d only worked an 8hr day. I focused on spending that “extra” time with my family, being outside, and finding hobbies.

Angela Burd: My greatest challenge was transitioning from being a leader and expert in my field to starting over and learning civilian aspects of the workforce. I needed to recognize that I would not initially come into the workforce at the “rank” I previously held; that I needed to establish myself as a valuable employee and learn, grow, and challenge myself to work toward new goals.

Jerome Simmons: The first challenge I faced was not being in charge anymore. I did a lot of cycling and CrossFit to take my mind off the pressure of not leading Soldiers!

Q: How do you think your military experience has prepared you for your role at Magellan Federal?

Amber Rodgers: The military prepared me to lead people, problem-solve, and think strategically.

Angela Burd: I can appreciate the mission and recognize the value of Magellan Federal from the angle of the service member. Additionally, I recruit Military and Family Life Counselors. I feel that my prior service lends to the credibility of who we are and what we do. I appreciate the counselors because so many times throughout my years of service, I now recognize that I could have used an MFLC!

Jerome Simmons: My experience with the Army has made it easy for me to network with Green Suiters (Army) and other organizations on the installation.

Q: What skills did you learn in the military that you feel are particularly valuable in your current position?

Amber Rodgers: Time management, setting goals, communicating expectations, giving and receiving feedback, and accountability.

Angela Burd: Adaptability. I have learned to make the best of plans but be ready at any time for a change in mission. All candidates are different and the ability to adapt can assist in keeping great candidates interested in our roles and ultimately filling our ranks with the right employees to serve our service members and their families.

Jerome Simmons: Leading and patience are two great skills that I’ve learned.

Q7: How do you stay connected with the military community while working in a civilian role?

Amber Rodgers: I serve in the Air National Guard.

Angela Burd: I had a great bond with my team of Soldiers, my leadership, and their families. Many have become lifelong friends who still come to me for advice from when I was in their positions. It is a great feeling to know that my work remains valued and worthy of recognition even after being gone for two years.

Jerome Simmons: I have a ton of old Soldiers, civilians, and leaders that stay in touch with me monthly for mentorship and mentee.

Q8: What advice would you give to someone who is currently transitioning from military to civilian life?

Amber Rodgers: Acknowledge that “it’s different,” normalize the transition of old habits, and explore how to build new habits. Find the similarities and find excitement in the differences. Take time for yourself and recognize that this is a transition for your family, too, don’t forget them!

Angela Burd: Start planning early. Set attainable goals for yourself with realistic timelines. Include your family in your plans. Ask questions, build connections, and network! Be realistic about what you want in a role. You may fail a time or two and need to reassess your goals, but that’s OK! The military community is always there to pick you up, and your training taught you to be resilient so you will eventually succeed!

Jerome Simmons: Please, please establish some type of support channel, whether it be military or civilian, that would push and motivate you!

Military Caregiver Month is a time to recognize and honor more than 5.5 million spouses, parents, children, relatives, friends, coworkers, and neighbors who provide care and assistance while warriors heal from their injuries. The caregiver’s dedication can lead to swifter recovery times for their loved one, a better quality of life, and saves the United States billions of dollars in health care costs.

The month of May is when the nation formally recognizes a caregiver’s dedication. It’s an understanding and appreciation that caregiving can sometimes come at a cost to their emotional, physical, and financial well-being. One of the goals of Military Caregiver Month is to get the word out regarding the life-changing work that caregivers are doing every day to support our nation’s wounded warriors, but also to take the time to spotlight resources that are available for Military Caregivers and advocate for additional resources to fill any gaps that have been identified.

Available Resources for Military Caregivers

Veterans’ Affairs

These caregiver support programs within Veterans’ Affairs (VA) are open to all caregivers regardless of the warrior’s years of service.

• VA Caregiver Support Program—based out of local VA Medical Centers, this program supports military caregivers with one-on-one and group coaching, mobile/telephone support, skills training, information regarding online programs, and referrals to available VA and community resources.
• Caregiver Support Line (1-855-260-3274)—Military caregivers can call to learn more about navigating barriers to accessing care and community resources available to help the veteran and receive supportive counseling for themselves from licensed social workers. Caregivers can also use the Support Line to network and obtain advice by participating in monthly telephone education groups where they can ask questions and learn additional skills regarding their own self-care.
• VA Peer Support Mentoring Program—New military caregivers are matched with more experienced caregivers to obtain ongoing monthly support and consultation with the National Peer Mentoring Support Program Managers. Through this supportive program, the military caregiver can socialize and create supportive friendships with individuals who understand the issues faced by caregivers and can provide support and advice.
• VA Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers—This program is specifically geared towards those providing care for veterans with serious injuries who have served on or after 9/11. It provides approved caregivers support options, including a monthly stipend, respite care, payment of approved travel expenses, health insurance, and mental health services.

The Department of Defense

The Department of Defense (DoD) provides resources and information exclusively for military caregivers who assist wounded, ill, or injured Service members with activities of daily living.

• Military Caregiver PEER (Personalized Experiences, Engagement, and Resources) Forum Initiative—This initiative utilizes Military Family Life Counselors to organize and conduct forums that provide non-medical counseling opportunities for military caregivers. At these forums, attendees discuss topics they would like to focus on, such as managing stress, nutrition, financial wellness, and employment, among other issues. The Military Caregiver PEER Forums aim to reduce stress, provide emotional support, and be a resource for valuable information through guided discussion among military caregivers, allowing them to share practical, accurate, and thorough information based on their personal experiences.
  
• Caregiver Resource Directory (CRD)—The CRD is designed to help empower military caregivers with information about national and local resources and programs specifically for them. Topics include helplines, advocacy and benefits information, career transitions and employment, military caregiver support, children’s needs, education and training, financial support, rest and relaxation, and more.

You can access the 2022 CRD online or request a CRD at OSD.Caregiver@mail.mil.

• National Resource Directory – The NRD is an online database containing thousands of validated Federal, State, and local level resources that support recovery, rehabilitation, and reintegration for service members, veterans, family members, and caregivers.
• Virtual PEER Forums—Military caregivers may join their peers through virtual teleconference lines during forums scheduled on the first Thursday of every month at 11 a.m. ET and the fourth Thursday at 2 p.m. ET. Virtual Peer Forums allow caregivers to share their expertise and network with others who are experiencing similar challenges. Click here to RSVP.
• Warrior Care Recovery Coordination Program – A Defense Health Agency program where caregivers can learn more about navigating the various DoD programs developed for Wounded Warriors.
• Military Caregiver webinars, events, and specialized resources.

While caregiving is rewarding, it can also be challenging and overwhelming. That’s why spending awareness about the resources available to military caregivers is essential.

Hard work, dedication, love, and resilience weave together an extraordinary tapestry that is the military spouse. We are strong, independent women and men fiercely supportive of each other. We care wholeheartedly about all associated with the military and work tirelessly to support those who support us through serving our country.

Military Spouse Appreciation Month recognizes the spouse’s contributions to the military and the community. Those in the military took an oath to serve our country and receive medals, salutes, and commendations for their commitment. The sacrifices of the families, while not as evident, should also be applauded and recognized for their commitment to the service of our country through their support of the service member. Often these sacrifices go unnoticed and can create challenges, such as maintaining a job or career.

The Struggle of Finding Employment as a Military Spouse

On many military installations, spouses volunteer thousands of hours for the cause of the community and the military services. One can find a spouse volunteering at thrift stores, schools, Community Action Centers, Military Spouse Clubs, and the American Red Cross, to name a few. The spouse’s work is visible and needed. When the service member knows that the family is stable and receiving the required support within the community, they can focus on serving their mission without hesitation.

Along with the usual marital stresses, most non-military spouses are near support systems of family, lifelong friends, and resources known to them. We learn to make friends quickly, and those people become our family. The resentment and loneliness this lifestyle brings can be hard to understand. The sacrifice, commitment, and the stress of many domestic roles can be lonely and isolating at times. We can sometimes lose our identity – known only as someone’s spouse or someone’s parent. Many opportunities present themselves, such as worldwide travel, educational benefits, and excellent schools, but with these opportunities there can be just as many, if not more, sacrifices.

So much of our military lifestyle is beyond our control. Affordable childcare options are a major concern for military spouses. It is a primary family expense and the main reason many spouses choose not to work outside the home. At one point in my career, I worked 40 hours a week and cleared less than $600 monthly after childcare expenses, transportation, lunch, hair, nails, etc. I was exhausted and felt enormous guilt for allowing my children to be cared for by strangers while I earned a mere pittance.

Military spouses sometimes “Suffer in Silence,” fearing that speaking up may impact our service member’s career.

Qualities of a Military Spouse

We cover family milestones, holidays, and events alone, often finding ways to make up for the missing service member. In many cases, giving birth is a prime example. Thanks to my husband’s battalion chaplain (and his wife who made him do it), Gary was able to sneak away for a couple of hours (in full camouflage paint and an odor to match!) from field exercises to visit our newborn son and me in the neonatal intensive care unit in Fayetteville, NC.

Charlene Austin, the wife of Secretary of Defense General Lloyd Austin, has always been a working military spouse. She gave me this advice years ago when I became despondent during my job search. “This [military] experience is guaranteed to be like no other. Remain open to options and alternatives. Grow to be happy with yourself and work to realize your needs and goals.” That is good advice, but so much easier said than done.

Military spouses often sacrifice a stable career with their active-duty partner. The constant moving makes it hard to have career progression since you are not in any position long enough to have forward momentum. For example, my dear friend, Ivy, has multiple graduate degrees. Yet, she decided not to work for nearly twenty years because it was difficult to secure positions with growth and one that would work with her schedule of raising children and supporting her military service member.

Military spouses are adaptable, flexible, punctual finance managers, organizational managers, schedule managers, and residential physician assistants. They serve as Girl Scout leaders, Boy Scout leaders, piano teachers, sports coaches, and tutors. We are located in an area for 12-36 months. Within the first two weeks of arrival, the spouse has unpacked and arranged the house, registered students in new schools (who is my emergency contact when I don’t know anyone?!), obtained new doctors and a dentist, scheduled sporting activities and other extra-curriculum activities, and planned the summer vacation with fun activities.

Why Companies Should Hire Military Spouses

Securing positions and establishing a career have changed within the last 10 years for military spouses; however, it can sometimes still be difficult for a spouse to secure a position if they are not a teacher or working within the medical field. Many employers hesitate to hire a military spouse because they focused on the spouse leaving and not the skills the person was contributing to the overall mission.

An organization would benefit from having a military spouse who can work independently and collaboratively to complete tasks without supervision. A military spouse has likely managed a household and children and settled conflicts—from submitting damage claims to advocating for the best classes for their child. Military spouses are often highly educated and experienced; therefore, they meet the requirements for many positions. They should not be discounted simply because they may be at a temporary station. There are a lot of remote work options these days that may result in continuity beyond service location.

Carolyn Shelton, the spouse of General Hugh Shelton, former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, shared an interesting story concerning her job search in the Washington, DC, area. She was submitting applications but had very little previous employment. She added her volunteer experience as a military spouse instead. A hiring manager reviewed her application and said, “Anyone who would volunteer this much at no pay has to be reliable. You’re hired!” Never discount the strength of your volunteer experience. You gain marketable skills needed in the business community.

When I met Carolyn, she had moved 24 times in 29 years. She humorously described her first experience as a military spouse (although I am sure humorously was not how she would have described it then).  They arrived at Ft. Benning, Georgia, where her husband was to attend Ranger School. He told her, “I’m going to sign in with the unit, then I’ll be back.” He didn’t make it back for two days! This happens more often than we care to admit.

It is past time that companies provide childcare assistance or subsidies. A flexible spending account should be one of many benefits companies offer employees. I hope the future holds affordable options for all companies that will foster a healthier work-life balance.

Companies like Magellan Federal have already taken giant steps in supporting military spouses in the workplace. Our Talent Acquisition team is superb at keeping the company recognized as a Military Friendly Top 10 Spouse Employer. Our President and CEO, Anna Sever, is the spouse of an active-duty military service member. I do not doubt that under her leadership, we will continue to build on the foundation the company was founded on – care for surviving spouses of the fallen. I applaud Magellan Federal for the emphasis placed on mental health and access to resources.

I encourage other corporations to provide more opportunities for military spouses. Hire them because they get the job done and allow them to manage at the highest positions!