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Presence: The Best Holiday Present

Our brains are constantly thinking of things we need to accomplish. There are milestones and deadlines at work. At home, there are responsibilities, friends, and families that deserve our attention. Adding to the normal demands and stressors of life, the holiday season is right around the corner.

The holidays bring connection and joy but also a need for decorations, travel arrangements, and planning. Families strive to truly capitalize on their precious opportunity for leave. Military families with a loved one on deployment are considering how this year may feel a little off and are thinking about what they can do to still make it special.

Managing Demands During the Holidays

Thinking of the many demands upon us, it’s easy to see how the feeling of holiday cheer can be overtaken by unpleasant emotions such as anxiety. We can feel drained as we are trying to navigate a conversation or two while simultaneously taking care of some task. It’s in the depleted, attention-divided state that feeling overwhelmed can occur. While common, this doesn’t need to be the case. Instead of letting the holidays pass you by with a sense of overwhelm, give yourself the present of presence by setting boundaries. Here’s how.

  • Identify priorities—When you identify what is most important to you, you can be more intentional about focusing your time, energy, and effort. Prioritize your activities and narrow your focus by considering what you value the most. Whether it’s cooking a special dish, arranging the décor just right, or meaningful conversations with someone, you can focus your time and attention where you most desire.
  • Create boundaries—This may seem limiting at first, but boundaries actually create the opportunity to dedicate yourself fully to what you care about most. Setting boundaries means giving yourself permission to say no to events, certain traditions, or just the pressure to do it all. At times, this can be challenging because we may feel like we’re missing out: however, although we are not doing everything, we are able to get more out of the things we do.
  • Be in the moment—Once you create boundaries, it will enable you to fully bring yourself to the moment. Your thoughts, energy, and attention are present in the moment; you have a sense of complete engagement in what you’re doing, and a greater sense of awareness in each precise activity. When having a conversation, you are truly listening, empathizing, and being aware of each other’s presence. Whether you agree or disagree on a particular topic, you seek to understand and appreciate that person.

The Value of Being Present

When we are mindful, life’s special moments come alive. Noticing the smirk someone gives. Savoring the flavor of each bite. Basking in the bustling of sounds around. Indulging in the pleasures and joys with abandon. This is where we connect, where we create the bonds and memories that last far longer than anyone’s awareness of how clean the house was that day, if we were five minutes late, or if we forgot that critical dish.

Understanding what we value most and leveraging boundaries to reserve our resources gives us the power to be present in the moments that matter. This is the most precious present we can give others…and ourselves.

Happy Present Holidays!




Quick Tips: Getting Active as a Family

When the whole family is involved in physical activities together, children learn that being active is fun and makes you feel good. And busy parents can combine family time with exercise time.

Try these tips for getting everyone in the family up and moving together:

Getting started

  • As a family, make a list of activities you’d like to do together.
  • Make sure the activities are things everyone can do and enjoy.
  • Keep a family physical activity log, or hang a calendar on the wall.
  • Try to plan one or two family activities a week. For ideas, see the suggestions below.
  • Once a month, plan something special that involves being active, like a trip to the zoo, a day hike, or camping.
  • Use a safe backpack, stroller, or bike trailer so that smaller children can be included in family activities.

Walking

When family schedules get really busy, going for a walk may be the easiest thing you can do together.

  • Start with short walks that everyone in the family can do. Add more distance gradually. Younger children can ride a bike or a tricycle. You can pull a wagon in case little ones get tired.
  • Scavenger hunts can keep children from being bored on a walk. Keep in mind a list of “treasures” they can find, such as a red leaf, a blue house, a black dog, or an out-of-state license plate.
  • Use a phone app or get pedometers, and work on increasing the number of steps you take on your family walks. Start with a goal of 10,000 steps a day.
  • Register the whole family in a family fun run/walk in your community. If the event is for charity, have your family walk through your neighborhood to collect pledges.

Outdoor activities

  • Go for a bike ride.
  • Join your children in old-fashioned games like hopscotch, tag, jump rope, and hide-and-seek.
  • Get involved in family-friendly sports like skiing, skating, swimming, and tennis.
  • Play a daily family basketball game in the driveway or at a playground.
  • Take up miniature golf or flying-disc golf.
  • Fly a kite.
  • Pick up trash at a local park.

Indoor and rainy-day activities

  • Have a family dance night. Share dances from each generation, and teach each other to do them. Or learn folk dances.
  • Create a new dance or exercise routine to a favorite song. Have a different child choose the song each week.
  • Go to the mall, and count how many laps you can walk as a family.
  • Have a hula hoop contest.
  • Set up a fun obstacle course in the basement, garage, or spare room.

General rules

  • Limit TV, video games, and computer time.
  • Don’t use food as a reward for meeting activity goals.
  • Make physical activity a priority. Don’t let things get in the way of family activity time.

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