Normal holiday stressors can be compounded when we miss someone we have lost or are impacted by other hardships. This year, the sense of loss – of a loved one, financial security and a sense of “normal” – has touched many of us due to the COVID-19 pandemic. As we’re making plans to celebrate the holidays in unprecedented times, let’s take a break with Magellan’s Dr. Shareh Ghani as he discusses ways to address feelings of loss, practice self-care and make the most of this holiday season.

Magellan: Dr. Ghani, thank you so much for being here with us to share your many years of expertise in helping patients with behavioral health needs. Our first question: Is it possible to enjoy the holidays when we are experiencing the pain of losing a loved one to COVID-19 or something else?

Dr. Ghani: Thank you for having me. The pandemic has taken a toll on our community as we have lost loved ones prematurely, and we continue to experience sustained emotional pressure as COVID continues to spread. It is vitally important that we celebrate the holidays, exchange gifts and cards, gather virtually, and celebrate life. Spreading love and joy in these trying times will bring much-needed respite to the brain and body and boost our immune systems.

Magellan: How can we overcome feelings of worry and anxiety due to a job loss or other financial insecurity during this holiday season?

Dr. Ghani: Losing a job obviously leads to worry, anxiety and even questioning one’s own competence. The pandemic has helped many people shift focus to the “must haves” and not worry about the “nice-to-have” luxuries in life. Some are paying more attention to their health and fitness, minimizing spend, and planning for the future. Having a good strategy will help reduce the anxiety of uncertainty. If need be, talk to a therapist.

Magellan: Do you have any tips for people experiencing distress over not being able to celebrate the holidays in the way they may have in the past?

Dr. Ghani: One needs to evaluate the reason why we are changing our lifestyle. Social distancing helps stop the spread of the virus. Those who take this threat to our lives lightly may experience distress. Understanding the gravity of the situation alleviates it. We are celebrating in smaller groups so we can defeat the virus and return to our old ways of celebrating holidays safely. Think of it as a form of delaying gratification for better outcomes.

Magellan: What is your general advice for anyone who is experiencing loss to feel better and be able to experience joy this holiday season?

Dr. Ghani: Losing loved ones is a part of our life cycle. Human beings are resilient beings. Remember – those that we have lost would have wanted us to be happy. We should think about the happy moments we shared with those that are not here today and celebrate life.

Magellan: Why is it important to practice self-care and be an advocate for one’s own mental health?

Dr. Ghani: Good eating habits and physical exercise are key to physical and emotional wellness. Sleeping at least eight hours a day, hydrating well and experiencing joy and happiness are also important. All these things help with mental health. Relationships, family, helping others and being grateful add to a joyous life experience.

It’s officially the holiday season—bring on the parties, travel, end-of-year work activities, and squeezing in quality time with loved ones! This year, remember to make time to take care of yourself and start 2020 off with your healthiest, most vibrant YOU. Here are our top three holiday health hacks:

Be mindful of your alcohol intake.

Avoiding triggers can be challenging this time of year. Dr. Caroline Carney, chief medical officer of Magellan Rx, was quoted in a helpful Huffington Post article that offers 14 useful tips for navigating the holidays when you’re not drinking.

Be mindful of your plate.

The celebration over food and eating during the holidays can be tough…but it doesn’t have to be! With a little planning and preparation, you can make healthy choices. Check out these 10 easy tips to for managing your diet this holiday season.

Be mindful.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth. It will do wonders when you’re sitting in all that holiday traffic.

Wishing you and yours a happy and healthy holiday!

The holidays are a fun and joyous time but also a very busy one, and holiday stress and anxiety in children can and does happen. During the holidays, there are lots of fun activities and events going on, both at home and at school. And while that can be a good thing, the constant hustle and bustle can be just as overwhelming and nerve-wracking for children as it is for adults.

Recognize the signs that your child is stressed out. These signs may include:

• increased irritability or anger
• clinginess
• more crying, whining, or complaining
• sleep troubles (or sleeping too much)
• physical symptoms like headaches and stomachaches
• more or less eating
• isolation and/or refusal to participate in activities
• regressive behavior such as bedwetting or thumb- sucking

Try these tips to help alleviate your child’s stress and make the holiday season a merrier time for everyone:

Set a Calm Example

The most important way parents can help ease anxiety in children during the holidays is by trying to keep things relaxed as much as possible. As with so many situations, the way parents handle an issue can set the tone for how their kids will behave. If you let holiday stress get to you, your kids will definitely pick up on it, and child anxiety is more likely to be a problem in your house. To minimize anxiety in children during the holidays, take steps to handle your own stress and anxiety.

Set Up Conditions for Good Behavior

Avoid taking your child to places such as the mall or holiday gatherings when he is hungry or tired. It’s hard even for grown-ups to deal with noise and lots of stimulation when they’re not feeling their best; kids get hungry more often and become tired more easily, and may understandably have a tough time being on their best behavior and are more likely to experience holiday stress when they’re exhausted or hungry.

Remember the Importance of Routines

The holidays can throw a big wrench into household routines, and that can play a role in anxiety in children.  To minimize holiday stress in your kids, try to get routines back on track once an event or party is over. For instance, if a school holiday concert or a church gathering goes past your child’s bedtime, try to stick to quiet, calm activities the next day and get your child to bed on time the next night.

Watch What They Are Eating

Another thing that can fall by the wayside amidst the holiday hubbub is healthy eating. Between all the extra sugary holiday snacks and the lack of time to sit down  to regular meals, it can be all too easy for kids to eat less healthy foods, which can contribute to holiday stress and anxiety in children. Try packing healthy snacks when you have to go shopping or run other holiday errands and try to minimize the number of sweet treats at home. Whenever possible, offer healthy snacks, such as air-popped popcorn or apple slices with cheese and crackers and limit cookies and candy to after-snack treats.

Get Your Child Moving

Fresh air and exercise are essential for boosting mood and re-setting the spirit, which can alleviate holiday stress and anxiety in children. Make sure you schedule some time to get your child outside to run around and play.

Avoid Overscheduling

As tempting as it may be to accept every invitation from friends and family, try to limit your holiday parties and activities so that you and your child are not overwhelmed. A couple of events a week may be fine, but having an obligation every day can lead to holiday stress and anxiety in children.

Have Your Grade-Schooler Help You

Big kids love to help mom and dad, especially if they get lots of praise for being responsible and helpful. If you have to shop, ask your child to help you look for an item at the store (fun stocking stuffers for cousins, for example). Giving your child a task will not only boost her self-esteem, it’ll distract her and help prevent any holiday stress and anxiety.

Schedule Some Quiet Time

Having some peace and quiet with your child is more important than ever during the busy holiday season. Find a quiet corner and read a book with your child or create holiday pictures for grandma and grandpa. Take a walk outside in nature, away from noise and crowds and obligations.

Remind Your Child and Yourself What the Holidays Are Really All About

A great antidote for holiday stress and the bloated commercialism of the season is helping others, whether it’s by shoveling an elderly neighbor’s sidewalk or by wrapping presents for needy kids at your local church. Helping your grade-schooler become a charitable child will help alleviate her holiday stress and anxiety.

Help is available. For additional information, visit MagellanHealth.com/MYMH

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be a challenge for you and your family. Your family may find it hard to accept some of the changes PTSD can bring to your life. By talking and supporting one another, you and your family will be better prepared for these changes.

Family support

Your family is an important part of your recovery. They can be there to listen and to help you through rough times.

It’s also important that you help your family understand PTSD. They may not always know how to respond when they see you hurting. They may feel scared, sad, guilty, or even angry about your condition.

Talking about PTSD can help you and your family cope. Talk about your symptoms and what triggers them. Discuss different treatments and how they can help you recover. When you open up, your family can better understand what you’re going through.

Family therapy can help. This is a type of counseling that involves your whole family. A therapist can teach you how to work through problems and communicate better.

Talking with your kids about PTSD

Teaching your kids about PTSD is important. They may not understand why you’re feeling bad or why you get angry sometimes. This can be scary for kids at any age. They also may blame themselves for things that aren’t their fault. Make sure your kids understand that they aren’t to blame for your PTSD. When talking with your kids about PTSD:

• Be honest and listen to what they have to say.
• Tell them it’s okay to ask questions. Ask them how they’re feeling, and let them know that their concerns are important.
• Make sure they feel safe, secure, and loved. They may be afraid that something bad is going to happen.
• Provide information about PTSD. Let them know what it is, how you got it, and how you can recover.
• Encourage a good support system of friends outside your family. Get them involved in school activities or youth programs in the community.
• Don’t promise that your PTSD is going to go away soon. Instead, talk about how treatment can help you feel better. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers.
• Be as positive as you can. Your kids will notice how you react in difficult situations, which can influence their reactions.

Triggers Things that suddenly remind you of your traumatic event are called triggers. Triggers can bring up stressful feelings or cause you to have flashbacks, which means you feel like you’re reliving the event all over again.

Trying to avoid triggers is a common reaction. It’s normal to stay away from things that cause you stress. Because of this, you may feel like you can’t do the things you used to enjoy. This may be hard on you and your family.

Talk with your family about your triggers. They need to know what causes you stress. By being aware of your triggers, your family can help you find ways to cope with them.

Some common triggers include:

• Places, social events, or even smells and sounds. For example, smoke may trigger memories in someone who was hurt in a fire. Or a car that backfires may remind a veteran of gunfire.
• Being around others who were involved in your traumatic event. This may happen when veterans have a reunion.
• The anniversary of your traumatic event. Try to plan enjoyable activities on and around the anniversary date. It may help to be with friends or family.

Coping with holidays

Big holidays like Christmas and New Years can be stressful. The holidays can be a painful reminder of past times when life seemed better. Big groups of family and friends are often part of the holidays.

This may be stressful because:

• Groups tire you out or make you feel overwhelmed.
• You feel pressure to join family activities when you’re not up for it.
• You feel like you have to act happy when you’re not.

Your loved ones also might ask you questions about your life or about PTSD. You may not feel comfortable answering these questions. Keep in mind that your family may feel some of the same pressures.

You can cope with holiday stress by:

• Setting limits. Don’t join activities for longer than you can handle. You can choose when you want to be a part of the group.
• Taking breaks. Go for walks, or set aside a place where you can be alone for a while. This can keep you from feeling overwhelmed.
• Getting plenty of rest. Take naps if you feel like you’re not getting enough sleep at night.
• Talking with your family about how you feel. Your family can help you. Be honest with them about your stress.
• Not drinking too much. Alcohol may make your symptoms worse or cause you to have problems with your family.

For family members If you are the spouse or family member of someone with PTSD, here are some tips for helping your loved one during the holidays:

• Accept the mixed feelings your loved one may have about the holiday.
• Respect and support your loved one’s choices about being involved in the celebration.
• Plan ahead of time how you will cope with stress. This may mean talking about how your loved one will answer questions about PTSD, or deciding how long you will stay at a party.
• Remember to take care of yourself. Do things for yourself to relieve stress.
• Keep your expectations realistic.

The holidays can be a joyful time, offering a chance to reconnect with friends and family. They can also be stressful and hectic. You may feel pressure to buy and give gifts, have concerns about money, or feel like there isn’t enough time to get everything done.

Think about the kinds of events that trigger stress for you during the holidays. Then, you can focus on one or two things you can do that will help the most to reduce stress.

Here are some ideas:

Preparing for the holidays 

1. Know your spending limit. Lack of money is one of the biggest causes of stress during the holiday season. This year, set a budget, and don’t spend more than you’ve planned. It’s okay to tell your child that a certain toy costs too much. Don’t buy gifts that you’ll spend the rest of the year trying to pay off.
2. Give something personal. You can show love and caring with any gift that is meaningful and personal. It doesn’t have to cost a lot. Or, use words instead of an expensive gift to let people know how important they are to you. Make a phone call or write a note and share your feelings.
3. Get organized. Make lists or use an appointment book to keep track of tasks to do and events to attend.
4. Share the tasks. You don’t have to do everything yourself. Share your “to do” list with others. Spend time with friends and family while you share tasks like decorating, wrapping gifts, and preparing the holiday meal.
5. Learn to say no. It’s okay to say “no” to events that aren’t important to you. This will give you more time to say “yes” to events that you do want to attend.
6. Be realistic. Try not to put pressure on yourself to create the perfect holiday for your family. Focus instead on the traditions that make holidays special for you. And remember that just because it’s a holiday, family problems don’t go away. If you have a hard time being around your relatives, it’s okay to set limits on your time at events.

During the holidays

You may not be able to avoid stressful situations during the holidays, but you can plan to respond to them in a healthy way.

1. Take breaks from group activities. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Spend a little time by yourself if you can. Meditate, or do some relaxation breathing. Go for a short walk.
2. Keep a regular sleep, meal, and exercise schedule. Limit your alcohol. Taking care of yourself will help you deal with stressful situations during the holidays.
3. Get support if you need it. Holidays can sometimes trigger depression. They can be especially hard if you are already dealing with the death of a loved one or the breakup of a relationship. You may feel embarrassed to ask for help, or you may think that you’ll get over “the blues” on your own. But most people need treatment to get better. Talk with your doctor about counseling and medicine for depression.

Help is available. For additional information, visit MagellanHealth.com/MYMH

Holidays are meant to be a joyful time celebrating with family and friends, enjoying time off from work, and indulging in delicious meals. That said, it is also easy to get overwhelmed and anxious as you try to keep up with multiple demands on your personal, family and work life.

Try these sanity savers to help you find the right balance so you can focus on making positive memories this holiday season:

• Keep it simple (and be realistic): Perfection is overrated. Don’t put pressure on yourself by committing to every party or making your own party a gala event. Focus on what makes the holidays special for you.
• Set aside differences: Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion.
• Stick to a budget: Before you start shopping for gifts, food, and decorations, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Don’t try to buy happiness with excessive gifts or lavish meals.
• Plan ahead: Identify possible challenges that can trigger stress and develop an action plan to feel prepared to deal with them. Set specific days for shopping, cooking, traveling, visiting friends, and other activities.
• Keep healthy habits: Don’t let the holidays become a free- for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Get plenty of sleep and make as much time for exercise as you can.
• Take a breather: Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Spend a little time by yourself if you can. Meditate, do some relaxation breathing, or go for a short walk.
• Control the controllable: As families change and grow, traditions often do as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones and finding new ways to celebrate together.

Take steps to prevent stress and find peace and happiness this holiday season.