Resources for Supporting Your Teen’s Mental Health

Military life can be exciting and adventurous, but it also comes with challenges, especially for teens who face frequent moves, deployments, and the stress of a parent serving in harm’s way. This toolkit offers tips for military parents to help their teens navigate these challenges and maintain good mental health.

Communication is Key

• Initiate Conversations: Don’t wait for your teen to “open up”. Regularly check in with them about their day, school, friends, and feelings.
• Active Listening: When your teen talks, truly listen. Put away distractions, avoid interrupting them, offer empathy, and ask clarifying questions.
• “I” Statements: Use “I” statements to express your concerns without sounding accusatory. For example, “I worry when you stay up so late” instead of “Why are you always up so late?”
• Respect Privacy: Respect your teen’s need for privacy but establish boundaries. Let them know you’re always available to talk.
• Deployment Discussions: Talk about deployments well before they happen. Address their worries about safety, missing friends, and managing household responsibilities.
• Deployment Traditions: Create routines or traditions to maintain connection during deployments. This could be a weekly video call, writing letters together, or sending a small care package each week.

Building Resilience

• Develop Routines: Establish consistent routines at home and school, even during deployments. This provides a sense of normalcy and stability.
• Encourage Exercise: Regular physical activity reduces stress, improves mood, and promotes healthy sleep patterns.
• Healthy Eating: Focus on providing nutritious meals and snacks to fuel your teen’s body and mind.
• Relaxation Techniques: Teach your teen relaxation techniques like deep breathing exercises, mindfulness meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation.
• Positive Coping Mechanisms: Help your teen develop healthy coping mechanisms like journaling, creative outlets, or spending time in nature.

Recognizing Signs of Trouble

• Emotional Changes: Be aware of sudden changes in mood like increased irritability, sadness, or anger.
• Behavioral Changes: Watch for social withdrawal, neglecting hobbies, or increased risk-taking behaviors.
• School Struggles: Pay attention to slipping grades, difficulty concentrating, or lack of motivation for schoolwork.
• Physical Changes: Notice changes in sleep patterns, energy levels, appetite, or self-care habits.
• Substance Abuse: Be aware of signs of drug or alcohol use, which can be a way of self-medicating.

Getting Help

• MFLC Program: The Military and Family Life Counseling (MFLC) program helps military families overcome challenges with free non-medical face-to-face support. Services are private and confidential with a few exceptions. Support is available at many installations and affiliated schools.
• Military OneSource: This program offers a variety of resources, including:
• 24/7 confidential counseling: Speak with a licensed therapist specializing in military families.
• Workshops and webinars: Learn about common challenges teens face and develop coping strategies.
• Online resources: Access articles, videos, and tools to support your teen’s well-being.
• Chaplain Services: Chaplains offer non-denominational emotional and spiritual support and can be a valuable resource during difficult times.
• Military Teen Support Groups: Connecting with other teens facing similar challenges can be a source of comfort and understanding. Talk to your teen’s school counselor or local military base about support groups.
• Mental Health Professionals: If your teen needs more comprehensive support, consider seeking help from a therapist specializing in adolescents or military families.

Additional Resources

• National Child Traumatic Stress Network: https://www.samhsa.gov/
• The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ (for LGBTQ+ youth)

Remember:

• Take care of yourself. A healthy parent can better support a healthy teen.
• Celebrate accomplishments. Acknowledge your teen’s strengths and resilience.
• Be patient. Building resilience and coping skills takes time and practice.
• Seek professional help if needed. Don’t hesitate to ask for help if you feel overwhelmed or your teen needs additional support.
• The military community is here for you. There are many resources available to support you and your family.

Coach Michael Pride’s Journey from Athlete to Adaptive Sports Mentor

The Department of Defense (DoD) Warrior Games is an annual adaptive sports competition that showcases the resilience and athleticism of wounded, ill, and injured Service members and Veterans. Participants compete in various sports, including archery, to promote recovery, rehabilitation, and a sense of camaraderie among the military community.

Magellan Federal is proud to have partnered with nine coaches in the 2024 Warrior Games to create a supportive and empowering environment, enabling athletes to thrive and showcase their resilience and skill on their road to recovery.

In this exclusive interview, we speak with Coach Michael Pride, a former Warrior Games athlete turned track coach for the DoD Warrior Athletic Reconditioning Program. Now, as a coach, he shares his unique perspective on tailoring training to each athlete’s needs, the unforgettable moments that have shaped his coaching career, and the vital role of overall wellness in achieving success.

Q: Can you tell us a bit about your background and how you became involved in coaching for the Warrior Games?

A: I started coaching in 2011 after participating as an athlete in 2010. I competed in track, earning a silver medal in the 100-meter sprint and a bronze medal in the 200-meter sprint. I was wounded in 2008 in an improvised explosive device incident that hit the vehicle I was driving and crushed my arm after the vehicle rolled on it. I began rehab at the Naval Medical Center in San Diego, CA, from 2008–2011.

At that time, there was an overwhelming presence of wounded and ill Marines, which prompted the Marine Corps to adopt the name Wounded Warrior. Part of my rehab was participating in adaptive sports, so when the DoD came up with the Warrior Games, it was a no-brainer for me to try it, as I ran track in high school in Kansas City, MO, my hometown.

Q: How do you tailor your coaching approach for Warrior Games athletes?

A:  I tailor my coaching style to each athlete’s wounds or illness, and I try to coach them to be comfortable competing with whatever they have going on in life now. I tell them my story, and they begin to trust my coaching capabilities.

Q: What was your most memorable moment from coaching at the 2024 Warrior Games?

A: My most memorable moment was when I got a chance to coach against my mentors, Jeff Mcauley and Rodney Carson. When they left Team Marine Corps, they began coaching Team Army track athletes. My memorable moment happened in the 4×1 meter relay when Team Marine and Team Army finished simultaneously. Team Army pulled it out by only a photo finish to see who won. This was when I got my name considered for the Team Marine Head Coach position.

Q: How do you modify your training regimen so it is accessible for all athletes?

A: I give them all the same training regimen that coincides with their respective events. The athletes take the training regimen and begin training on their own, but I also remember their medical situations. Sometimes, I have to modify it, pending the injury or illness they may be dealing with. The adjustments are minor, and coaching to the injury isn’t that difficult. One sees certain injuries and illnesses year after year, which results in the athletes competing at a high level.

Q: What do you think is the most important element to adaptive sports coaching?

A: The most important element of adaptive coaching is seeing the individual athlete believe in themselves again. They believe they can still do what they love to do. They believe all they have to do is try, and results happen. They watch their loved ones smile at them because they’re enjoying life again. That’s what fuels me to come back year after year to coach.

Q: What advice do you have for others looking to incorporate overall wellness into their performance routines?

A: I suggest incorporating overall wellness into their training. Ensure you’re ready to integrate the body, mind, and spirit into everything you do. If one isn’t well, it causes tremendous stress in one’s life. Make sure your overall health is being taken care of first. Don’t be afraid to talk about what you have going on. Be honest with your overall wellness in order to become that person or athlete you want to be.

About the Author: Michael Pride is a 43-year-old retired Marine and current track coach. Born in Kansas City, MO, he was a standout track athlete in high school. After graduating in 1999, he enlisted in the Marine Corps in 2007, serving as a Motor Transportation Operator. During his deployment to Afghanistan in 2008, Michael was severely wounded by an IED, leading to over 20 surgeries and three years of rehabilitation.

Michael competed in the inaugural Warrior Games in 2010, earning silver and bronze medals in sprint races. He began coaching the Marine Track Team in 2012 and became Head Coach in 2021. Under his leadership, the team has achieved numerous medals and personal bests.

He retired from the Marine Corps in 2022 with several honors, including the Purple Heart, Navy Commendation Medal, and Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medals. Michael is a father of three daughters and currently resides in Houston, TX, working as a truck driver for Schneider National.

*The appearance of U.S. Department of Defense (DoD) visual information does not imply or constitute DoD endorsement.

The Importance of Finding a Community Wherever You Land

The military lifestyle is one full of constant change and often accompanied by stress, anxiety, and loneliness. One factor that weighs heavily on many military members and their families is the isolation that comes from the nomadic nature of frequent permanent change of station (PCS) moves over the course of a Service member’s career (Tong et al., 2018).

Everyday Burdens Feel Twice as Heavy When Going it Alone

Humans are, by nature, creatures that live in groups with close familial and social bonds. Military families uproot multiple times over the course of a career, and at each new location, are faced with a choice: build a new circle of people or go it alone. While a strong sense of independence and self-reliance are strengths that most Service members and their family members develop, it is crucial that they reach out at new commands and make the effort to meet people they can absorb into their circle of people that they can rely on. Where a civilian family may have the luxury of grandparents nearby to help with picking up a sick child from school, a cousin who is a great fixer to help around the house, or childhood best friends to recharge with after a long week, a military family often finds themselves alone in a new city with no sources of support (Tong et al., 2018). Certainly, families can hire babysitters, repair companies, and take time for themselves, but there is something incredibly valuable in having an established community or group of people you belong to who become your supporters. Deployments are times when this is especially important. Having people to turn to while a spouse is away allows the spouse at home to have support and companionship. It also gives the deployed Service member the freedom to focus on their mission knowing that their family is supported by a trusted community at home.

The Military Culture is Built on Shared Experience and Supporting Each Other

There are a lot of built-in ways for military families to connect with other families. Military and Family Life Counselors (MFLCs) can support them by giving encouragement to take the first step. A command Ombudsman is an excellent resource for connecting families with each other and with important local resources! The Morale, Welfare, and Recreation (MWR) center often holds events and activities where members and their families can meet other families (Ways to Settle In to Your New Home and Community 2024). Military members and families experience many of the same challenges and are often happy to lend a hand when someone needs help. Making those initial connections makes finding support much easier. Meeting people is sometimes not the hardest part; putting in the effort to make plans and build relationships can seem daunting on top of an already busy schedule. For some, knowing that another move is inevitable makes building relationships with people they will have to say goodbye to in a few years seem pointless. While saying goodbye is difficult, life is made richer by having made connections with individuals and having experiences with others, even if only for a short time.

When working with our military members and families, MFLCs provide a source of support and encouragement but also resources that they can use to strengthen their support system and coping skills outside of the counseling sessions. So make sure to build a community circle to feel connected to wherever you land!

References

• Tong, P. K., Payne, L. A., Bond, C. A., Meadows, S. O., Lewis, J. L., Friedman, E. M., & Maksabedian Hernandez, E. J. (2018). (rep.). Enhancing Family Stability During a Permanent Change of Station: A Review of Disruptions and Policies. Rand Corporation. Retrieved July 31, 2024, from https://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/research_reports/RR2300/RR2304/RAND_RR2304.pdf.
• Ways to Settle In to Your New Home and Community. Military OneSource. (2024, July 29). https://www.militaryonesource.mil/resources/millife-guides/settling-in-to-a-new-home/

Military and Family Life Counselors (MFLC) are key components in the fight to prevent suicide in service members and their families. With clinical expertise, collaborating with helping agencies, and connecting participants to appropriate resources, MFLCs embody the 2024 Suicide Prevention Awareness Month theme: “Joining Your Fight: Connect to Protect” (Defense.gov).

Trends of Military Suicide

There has been an increase in suicides for active-duty service members from 2011 to 2022, with 492 suicides in 2022. This was slightly more than in 2021, but less than in 2020. In addition, the rate is similar to the civilian population after accounting for population differences. Suicide data was not available for family members in 2022 however, data from 2021 showed a slight decrease from previous years (Defense Suicide Prevention Office).

Risk & Protective Factors

While the rate of suicide is similar between service members and the civilian population, there are factors unique to the military community that increase the risk of suicide. It is important to not only understand these factors, but also know the protective factors that can decrease these risks.

Suicide Prevention Resources

If you are a service member or military family, connect with a MFLC for local suicide prevention resources. Additionally, here are options for further information and support:

• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, created in 2022, connects individuals to trained crisis counselors for confidential support in managing mental health related crises, including suicidal thoughts.
• Magellan Healthcare resources: toolkit, tip sheets, national resources
• Publication: Military Child Suicide: Prevention Techniques and Best Practices
• Publication: Suicide in the Military: Misconceptions, Risk Factors, and How You Can Help

Exploring Music in Non-Medical Counseling Sessions

Music has a long history within the military as a method of addressing morale. The consistently positive response to music has led to research seeking to determine if it can be used in a therapeutic approach for Service members. (Gooding & Langston, 2019) Although music exploration is often associated with soothing melodies and uplifting lyrics, it also provides a valuable opportunity to explore and address negative emotions through music. This is because the exploration of negative emotions via music helps normalize and transform them into something healthier. Service members often train themselves to compartmentalize negative emotions in intense situations and can sometimes have difficulty engaging with emotions. This can lead to a sense of emotional blunting where the individual is aware that they have emotional discomfort but are unable to express the depth of their emotion or engage it in a way that allows effective processing. Listening to music is an activity that can assist individuals with emotional expression and establish coping skills. From creative expressions to the increasing availability of “rage rooms,” we are seeing an increase in techniques that utilize external expression, not just internal dialogue. Here are a few reasons why you may want to incorporate music in your next non-medical counseling session.

Music Can Facilitate Emotional Expression

An “emotion” playlist can be an example of this outward expression. Encouraging an individual to develop a list of songs they associate with certain feelings can assist in creating a safe space for them to experience said emotions. Studies have shown a correlation between music and brain activation in regions associated with emotion, reward, and cognitive processes (Fuentes-Sanchez, 2021). By utilizing a format that is designed to evoke specific emotions, we can provide clients with a way to feel more comfortable in emotional engagement. This method can be effective in situations where the individual states difficulty describing their emotions, feels that they have difficulty feeling emotions to the same extent as others, or describes an emotional numbness that feels inappropriate to them. By providing a structure or atmosphere where a specific emotion is being portrayed, it gives an experiential example that can limit some of the risks that accompany vulnerability.

Music Encourages Introspection

Listening to music in a safe space allows people to, in effect, practice their emotions. A recent study with the U.S. military utilizing a phased music exploration included lyric analysis as a prompt for introspection of life circumstances. Participant comments included “moving forward emotionally,” “I found something in me that was lost.” (Vetro-Kalseth,2021, p.449) While this study included a focus on songwriting, it does provide an illustration of how we connect emotionally with music. Hartman and Conklin (2009) state that songs can be “a medium where feelings, emotions, values, dreams, fears, and hopes are expressed” and can assist those who are unable to express “eloquently and succinctly to discover and express something about their true self through the use of that music’s lyrics” (p.50).

Music Opens Lines of Communication

Music can facilitate communication by allowing individuals to process their feelings, become comfortable with emotional expression, and learn to recognize their own emotions more clearly. Writing lyrics is a unique expression of emotion that allows the Service member to creatively capture thoughts or feelings, which can be cathartic.

Additional benefits of incorporating music into a non-medical counseling session include being able to limit the time of a playlist, being able to arrange an appropriately supportive environment, and being able to have more say in when those emotions can be addressed safely. This can help prevent emotional overflow in situations that would be damaging or dangerous to the client. Music exploration is not a solution for everyone, but it’s a great alternative to try for Service members and military families.

References

Gooding, Lori F.; Langston, Diane G.; Journal of Music Therapy, Vol 56(4), Win 2019 pp. 315-347. Publisher: Oxford University Press; [Journal Article]; DOI: 10.1093/jmt/thz010, Database: APA PsycInfo

Fuentes‐Sánchez, Nieves; Pastor, Raúl; Escrig, Miguel A.; Elipe‐Miravet, Marcel; Pastor, M. Carmen. Psychophysiology. Sep2021, Vol. 58 Issue 9, p1-17. DOI: 10.1111/psyp.13884. , Database: SPORTDiscus with Full Text

Hartman, Nathan S.; Conklin, Thomas A. Organization Management Journal (Palgrave Macmillan Ltd.). Spring2009, Vol. 6 Issue 1, p48-57. 10p. 2 Diagrams, 3 Charts. DOI: 10.1057/omj.2009.7. , Database: Business Source Ultimate

Vetro-Kalseth, Danielle; Vaudreuil, Rebecca; Segall, Lorna E. Military Psychology. Nov/Dec 2021, Vol. 33 Issue 6, p446-452. 7p. DOI: 10.1080/08995605.2021.1962194. , Database: Military & Government Collection

Activities for Educators and Parents

Children consistently learn and develop new and increasingly complex cognitive skills throughout early childhood. During this period, it is not practical to use a one-and-done approach to learning and skill building. Like an athlete or artist, when it comes to social and emotional learning, children need to practice and fine-tune these skills inside and outside of school to gain mastery. It is important to remember that some children understand a skill or concept quickly while others may need additional practice before gaining mastery of those same skills or concepts.

In her book Play Therapy Activities, Melissa LaVigne, LCSW, offers 101 social and emotional learning activities for children between the ages of three and nine. The activities provided below are examples from the book that can be used in individual or group sessions. They can also serve as great suggestions to educators to use within the classroom and for family members to use at home with children.

Worry Jar

This activity is used to address feelings of anxiety or uncertainty a child may have.

• Materials needed: jar with lid, post-its, and a pen/pencil
• Directions: When a child has a worry, concern, or anxious feeling, invite the child to write it down on a post-it and place it in the jar. Explain they do not need to share it, confirm that everyone worries at times, and also talk about other ways to manage the feelings of being worried. For younger kids who do not yet write or spell, offer to write down the worry for them if they want. Once written, hand the paper back to them so they can put it in the jar.

Felt Feeling Faces

An emotional intelligence activity, this helps children think about and understand how feelings present on someone’s face.

• Materials needed: oval-shaped felt paper to represent faces, felt paper in an array of colors, and scissors (optional: glue stick to make permanent feeling faces)
• Directions: Instruct children to cut out the shapes of eyes and mouths expressing emotions such as happy, sad, mad, etc. If needed, have children use a hand mirror to see the shapes their own faces make with different facial expressions. Once cut, have the children use the oval-shaped pieces of felt with the eyes and mouth to create “feeling faces”. Have the children guess what feeling each face is making and discuss what they can do when they see someone feeling that way. Note: Pre-cut out these shapes for children too young to safely use scissors.

Feelings Play List

This activity draws on the emotional connection of music to help children identify feelings or remember fond memories.

• Materials needed: access to a music streaming device or an audio search device (e.g., Alexa)
• Directions: Begin a group discussion by asking the children to name feelings they want to talk about. If possible, encourage a balance between positive and negative feelings. Ask the children if they can think of songs they like that match a feeling. If possible, listen to the song or look up the words in the song. Ask the children why the song matches a certain feeling for them. For an added activity, make a playlist of songs that match positive feelings such as happy or calm. The song names can be written down and shared so families can make their own playlists.

Bubble Tag

This breathing and impulse control activity can be modified to accommodate individual or group work.

• Materials needed: bubble wand and bubble solution
• Directions: Introduce this activity by explaining how breath control can be used to create a sense of calm and discus how deep and steady breathing makes good bubbles. Use a bubble wand to take turns blowing bubbles while the child tries to pop the bubbles before they hit the ground. For group sessions, have one member blow the bubble while another pops it, or consider splitting the group into teams. During the bubble-blowing exercise, ask the child (or group) to think about what will make more or bigger bubbles and ask them to experiment with their breath to find out. Use positive praise when the child uses good breath control, model breath control if needed, and talk about how breathing can help manage feelings.

Enjoying the Classics

Games like red light green light, freeze dance, musical chairs, and duck-duck-goose provide children an opportunity to connect their mind to their body by listening and then acting on what they heard. This can help with building better self-regulation skills as well as their overall emotional intelligence.

References: LaVigne, M. (2020). Play therapy activities: 101 Play-Based exercises to improve behavior and strengthen the Parent-Child connection. Rockridge Press.

“Being a teenager is easy,” said no one, ever. Pressure to fit in, taking risks, and learning how to navigate the world are all cornerstones of normal teenage life. On top of these pressures, military teens have the added stress of Permanent Change of Station (PCS) moves.

When a PCS occurs, teens often feel sad leaving their friends and anxious about finding a new social group. While this can be an overwhelming and difficult time, Military and Family Life Counselors (MFLCs) can help ease the transition into a new place by inviting teens to join lunch groups, connecting them to peers with similar interests, and sharing local events. In addition to MFLC support, there are resources available for teens and parents as they acclimate to their environment.

Youth Resources

• On-post youth centers offer military youth a fun, safe place with activities for a variety of interests. At these centers, teens can connect with their peers and support staff.
• Military teen adventure camps, Operation Purple, the Boys and Girls Club, the YMCA, and 4-H all offer age-appropriate opportunities for military kids to join a social group, learn new skills, and build confidence.
• School programs such as Student 2 Student can help teens feel supported and connected when starting a new school.

 Parent Resources

• Military OneSource provides information on the Interstate Compact and the Exceptional Family Members Program, which can be useful to parents when they register their children in school and have concerns about loss of credit hours or setting up 504 or Individualized Education Plan (IEP) plans.
• The Military Child Educational Coalition offers resources for families such as a PCS checklist and a military student consultant.

A PCS move during the teen years can be life-changing for military-connected kids. However, with the help of MFLC support and the many resources available to them, it can also be a fun, exciting, and positive experience.

Sources

• https://www.militaryonesource.mil/benefits/military-youth-teen-programs/
• https://www.militarychild.org/programs-and-initiatives/military-student-consultants/

Transitioning from a structured military life to the civilian workforce is a significant change that is often met with uncertainty and frustration. For transitioning Service members, the process can feel overwhelming with endless options, possibilities, and decisions to make, often leading to decision fatigue. When mental fatigue and frustration set in, so does stress.

It is often extremely hard for Service members to translate and adjust their military duties into civilian terms so that they can enter the civilian workforce. Magellan Federal helps deliver the Education and Employment Initiative (E2I), which has a wonderful model of support to ease the transition. Here are some tips our E2I coordinators often give to ease the transition to a civilian career.

Tips for Transitioning to the Civilian Workforce

• Do not have visions of grandeur facilitated by the “Thank You for your Service” effect. This does not guarantee employment. While your Service is a unique differentiator, the job market is very competitive.
• Start the transition process early. It is recommended that you start your planning 18 months to 2 years before the end of service. Make your transition the number one priority.
• Knowledge is power. Thoroughly research career information resources. This information will help you make the best career choice for yourself and your family.
• Avoid the chatter. Do not get caught up in conversations with military peers or leadership who know as little as you do about transitioning to the civilian workforce.
• Know your value. Do what has always made you successful. Work hard, make a plan, and execute your plan. There is always a need for quality, hardworking, and dependable professionals.
• Adjust your military duties into civilian terms. Put in the work to translate your resume to skills and abilities that resonate with the civilian workforce. Reach out to civilian friends and family to network and get advice.
• Take advantage of transition resources. If you are assigned to a warrior transition unit or are going through a medical board, take advantage of the Employment and Education Initiative (E2I) program.

The E2I Program

The Education and Employment Initiative (E2I) is a Department of Defense (DOD) program that assists wounded, ill, and injured service members early in their recovery process to identify their skills and match them with the education and career opportunities that will help them successfully transition to civilian life.  E2I is available to all wounded, ill, and injured service members in all branches of the military services, as well as all components of those services: Active, Guard and Reserve.

E2I Regional Coordinators are located throughout the United States. These individuals work with wounded, ill, and injured service members to identify skills, career opportunities that match those skills, and determine educational requirements for a desired career path.

Even if you are not able to participate in the E2I program, your military experience can serve as a wonderful foundation for a successful civilian career.