Many people who die by suicide leave loved ones behind who suffer from a range of painful emotions.

When it happens to someone you know

Losing a loved one to suicide can be overwhelmingly painful for family members and friends. Unlike a death that occurs naturally from old age or illness, a death by suicide is usually sudden, unexpected, and sometimes violent. The shock and trauma for survivors is further complicated by the social stigma of suicide, possible police investigations, media coverage, lack of privacy, and judgment of others in the community.

How many people it impacts each year

Research shows that at least six people are directly affected by the death, including immediate family members, relatives, neighbors, friends, and co-workers.

Given that more than 43,000 people take their lives each year, approximately a quarter million survivors are left behind, traumatized by the loss.¹

Many people who die by suicide suffered from clinical depression or other mental health disorder. The survivors may also be at risk for depression and anxiety.

Common responses

The emotional pain of survivors can be complicated, intense, and prolonged. People may feel a sense of guilt and responsibility and blame themselves for not seeing the warning signs. They may feel a profound sense of betrayal, rejection, and abandonment. Other common responses are:

• Feeling a need to make sense of the death and understand why the person made the decision to die. Even if the person left a note or a message, there are often unanswered questions that can persist for years.
• Replaying the events that took place before the person’s death and constantly second-guessing different outcomes.
• Experiencing symptoms of post- traumatic stress disorder such as flashbacks and anxiety, particularly if they witnessed the suicide or discovered the body.
• Shame and anger due to the stigma of suicide and mental illness, and possible negative community responses.

Some individuals experience intense grief that does not heal with time.

The bereaved person may feel empty, preoccupied with the death and unable to resume the activities of daily life. This type of grief, known as complicated grief, can affect from 10 – 20% of the survivors of suicide loss. If left untreated, complicated grief often persists, resulting in significant impairment and poor health outcomes.

How you can help

Sometimes people struggle with what to say or how to help a family who has lost a loved one by suicide. Helping the survivors means being a good listener and avoiding any criticism or judgments. Try to:

• Be present and listen attentively without feeling the need to provide answers.
• Avoid speculating on the reasons for the suicide or the person’s state of mind.
• Be sensitive about what you say. Avoid clichés such as “I know how you feel” or “time will heal all wounds.”

Helping the survivors means being a good listener and avoiding any criticism or judgments.

• Be compassionate and understanding, and remember that grieving takes time.
• Take the initiative to be helpful. Bring a meal, mow the lawn, or pick up groceries for the family.
• Be aware of support groups and offer to find one if the family is interested.

The grief of suicide survivors is unique and complicated by the circumstances of the death. You can help by being present as a caring friend and sounding board. Let the family know you’re ready to listen if and when they want to share their thoughts and emotions.

Help is available. For additional information, visit MagellanHealth.com/MYMH

 

1. 2014 data, released December 2015, CDC Web Based Injury Statistics Query and Reporting System (WISQARS)

 

Sources: American Association of Suicidology; American Foundation for Suicide Prevention; Harvard Health Publications

 

Common warning signs for suicide include:

• Making suicidal statements.
• Being preoccupied with death in conversation, writing, or drawing.
• Giving away belongings.
• Withdrawing from friends and family.
• Having aggressive or hostile behavior.

It is extremely important that you take all threats of suicide seriously and seek immediate treatment for your child or teenager. If you are a child or teen and have these feelings, talk with your parents, an adult friend, or your doctor right away to get some help.

Other warning signs can include:

• Neglecting personal appearance.
• Running away from home.
• Risk-taking behavior, such as reckless driving or being sexually promiscuous.
• A change in personality (such as from upbeat to quiet).

Suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts

Certain circumstances increase the chances of suicidal thoughts in children and teens. Other situations may trigger a suicide attempt.

Circumstances that increase the chances of suicidal thoughts include having:

• Depression or another mental health problem, such as bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) or schizophrenia.
• A parent with depression or substance abuse problems.
• Tried suicide before.
• A friend, peer, family member, or hero (such as a sports figure or musician) who recently attempted or died by suicide.
• A disruptive or abusive family life.
• A history of sexual abuse.
• A history of being bullied.

Circumstances that may trigger a suicide attempt in children and teens include:

• Possession or purchase of a weapon, pills, or other means of inflicting self-harm.
• Drug or alcohol use problems.
• Witnessing the suicide of a family member.
• Problems at school, such as falling grades, disruptive behavior, or frequent absences.
• Loss of a parent or close family member through death or divorce.
• Legal or discipline problems.
• Stress caused by physical changes related to puberty, chronic illness, and/or sexually transmitted infections.
• Withdrawing from others and keeping thoughts to themselves.
• Uncertainty surrounding sexual orientation.

Depression

Signs of depression, which can lead to suicidal behavior, include:

• Feeling sad, empty, or tearful nearly every day.
• Loss of interest in activities that were enjoyed in the past.
• Changes in eating and sleeping habits.
• Difficulty thinking and concentrating.
• Complaints of continued boredom.
• Complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue with no actual physical problems.
• Expressions of guilt and/or not allowing anyone to give him or her praise or rewards.

Take any mention of suicide seriously. If someone you know is threatening suicide, get help right away.

Help is available. For additional information, visit MagellanHealth.com/MYMH

Source: Healthwise